Fortune’s Fool

And now enter Suitor Number 3, a car salesman named Spermuto.

Okay, Spermuto wasn’t his real name. But again, none of their real names mattered. 

And again, the Matchmaker’s rules dictated that each suitor must bring a gift for the family, and Spermuto did not come empty handed. 

To Mira’s horror, he stepped boldly over the threshold with his chest puffed out, and found his way into the kitchen. “Look what i’ve got!” he said, holding a family pack of chewing gum high in the air like a trophy.

The package was promptly ripped open and the packs of gum distributed. Everyone accepted theirs graciously. “Mira, look!” her father said, flourishing the gum excitedly. He adjusted his glasses so he could read the tiny lettering. “With fluoride!” He exclaimed.

Spermuto was in his element. The children were cheering him like a hero. He tossed the final package into the crowd and spun around with his fist in the air like a rockstar. “Yeah!” he cheered. By the time they made it to the front step, Mira wanted to die.

She couldn’t wait to escape the 6/10 life.